Sunday, September 27, 2009

It's a doozy!

Can you see the foot? She was still holding the blanket when she rolled over.

And then Esther's shoe became interesting.
Esther rescued one shoe.
Becca turned and picked up the OTHER one!

Aaaannnddd.....BREATHE.

Today is done.

I found I was blessed to have my sense of humor today. I just laughed about everything thinking that this is just the "season" of my life right now.

A moment of tenderness

Woke up.
Made and ate pancakes. (Yay!)
Cut Esther's hair to fix it from Heidi's adventures last night. (Yikes! If you've read The Hunger Games, I think she would have fit in at the Capitol. One side was very short with a few stragglers, the other was untouched, and the bangs....oh the bangs....)

(the final product)

BEFORE scissor drama
(and ready to go swimming with her "travel-neck-pillow-inner-tube")

"Row, row, row your boat"

Another view of "corrected" haircut

Left to run errands as a family.
Autumn realizes she's not wearing shoes.
Heidi realizes she's not wearing shoes.
We are fortunately still in the "buckling up" stage.
Autumn goes inside to find two pairs of shoes.
Go to health store to buy ridiculously overpriced Wellness Formula. Commit to buying it online and always having a stash handy.
Go to IKEA. Send Autumn & Heidi to Smaland. Peruse IKEA. Pick-up A&H. Eat yummy lunch at IKEA.
Watch kids playing near tables.
Discover Esther has gone #2 while playing. (I know, EW!)
DIVIDE & CONQUER. Eric to register with big girls. Abby to car with babies.
One change later...
On our way to Walmart.

Note the footwear.

I have to interrupt my "travelogue" to say --

Dear Walmart,

After two months of only visiting you for 5 item trips, I had begun to think I should make a full grocery trip and would save more money because I could price-match. Did you know your closest Walmart to me is the most ghetto Wal-Mart in California? I went to a different one today. It wasn't ghetto. But it wasn't better. This is a problem you should address.

I will never visit you after an IKEA trip again. What a juxtaposition. As a concerned consumer, I highly recommend you send your employees to IKEA for training.

Also, why would you choose to carry milk, eggs, juice, and cheese and yet NOT take WIC?

And why would you choose to carry ANY grocery items for that matter and still not be a SUPER Wal-mart?

And how is it that being in your store sucks the joy right out of me? The shoppers and the cashiers alike are all so unhappy, so unaware of others around them. As Velma Dinkley would say, "Jinkies!"

I am sad to say that I no longer wish to visit you. At all. And unfortunately for you, the closest Super Wal-mart is still 30 minutes away apparently. Any desire I previously had to save money through you, ended today.

On the flipside, I am happy to realize that all future shopping trips will more pleasant without you.

So sorry. You lose.

Me.

After that depressing trip, and still in need of produce & meat, and milk, cheese, and eggs, we headed home.

And on the way
Esther needed to go potty
She started to do so
All the way through to her seat
I climbed in the back
Unbuckled her
Slipped a 6-month old's size 2 diaper onto her,
Buckled her
Slipped back to my seat

We arrived home
to Heidi's announcement
"I just threw up"

She had indeed.
On her booster seat.
And her pants.

We raced inside
racing the clock that kept taunting me,
You only have x amount of time till the broadcast.
You still have to get dinner started, feed Becca, find clothes to wear, and be out the door on time.
Now you also have to start the wash for two carseat covers, figure out if your child is sick, and HELLO ANTS!

I thought we already took care of you.
Apparently not.

Apparently spraying ant poison inside and out TWO times is not enough. But then again, there are less of you today. Hopefully you just have nowhere else to go now that we've sprayed so much.

Can I just say that ants make me BATTY (sorry about all of the animal expressions...completely uninentional. Well, completely intentional, but not to be funny...). Anyway, BATTY. I cannot focus on doing other things when I know there is an ant problem. They DEMAND my attention and I feel frantic until they are gone. At least these are the itty bitty black ants of California and not the big red ouchy fire ants of Florida.

So...I left Becca by Eric's side, set Autumn up doing laundry, Heidi grating cheese for pizza, and I went to -- tackling the ants. (Where was Esther? No clue.)


Left the ants to
save Becca
from being picked up by the head.

Ants cleaned up.
Laundry started.
Cheese grated.

Uh-oh! The ice cream is still on the table. (Remember the Wal-mart trip?)
Disaster averted. Only a little soft.

And as I try to open the bathroom door I discover it's locked.
After counting, it opens.
Magic.
Discover Heidi mixing SPICES in a play pot. Three JARS of spices.
Lovely.

Does this make you feel like you need to move your hair out of your face? Right now? I know. Don't worry. It's cut now.

Spices cleaned up.
Make pizza dough in the kitchen.

Heidi informs me that sticking her fingers down her throat makes her throw up.
I think to myself, "Why yes dear, sticking your fingers down your throat WOULD make you throw up."
But I tell her, "So that's why you threw up? (head nod) That's very bad for your body sweetie. Please don't do that. Okay? (second head nod)"
I am relieved she is not sick.

Go to broadcast with the babe in tow.


She eats rice cereal, bananas, and sweet potatoes now.

The babe weighs 15 pounds.
Early enough to stop at Michael's Arts & Craft.
Get stuck behind lady who wants to return something not in its "original condition".
Babe is feeling 5 pounds heavier every few minutes.
Pay for my items.
Leave store with 40 pound baby.

10 minutes late to broadcast.
Enjoy broadcast.
Finish the grocery shopping.
The grocery shopping that was supposed to be done at Wal-mart.
Finally.

Home again, home again, jiggity jog.

This was all Becca's idea. Not mine. Not Esther's. SO CUTE. Love it.

Put kids to bed. Put toys away.

Bath-time fun.

Wish I was done but instead I:
write my talk
prepare for singing time
realize Heidi has a talk!! wonder what the topic is...
lay out clothes
eat a bowl of cereal
Type world's longest blog-post. Wonder if I'll be in the Guinness Book.

Daddy's morning exercises.

Did you make it? Yep. Didn't think so. But at least I have recorded my day for posterity. Because it sure was a doozy!!

Goodnight.

Craftiness. Improvising a headband when you don't want to buy one.


9 Comments:

  1. Tiff said...
    Wow. Just wow.

    I just realized that reading this specific post just might be the best form of birth control in existence right now.

    Only you could survive a day like this. The rest of us would be half-way up PCH by now.

    And you STILL made it to the broadcast! Amazing.
    Lisa said...
    Yeah, seriously, they should send this to health classes as birth control. :)

    So what I'm trying to say is--YOU ROCK!! I would've stopped halfway through and cried in the corner.
    Christy said...
    Yeah, Abby! Thanks for such a wonderful post. I love writing down days like this, not just as a way of venting, but a great opportunity to look back and laugh! And, for me, it's nice to see other mom's making it through days like I have, too! You're awesome!
    Jean said...
    Wowie-WOW!!! That was quite a day. You are such a trooper, Abby. I'm so glad for blogs, because you can go back and read this when you're 50 and remember (fondly?) how crazy it was. :-)
    Rae said...
    Oh I love you....you, in all your amazing ability to KEEP GOING on days like this!
    raehink said...
    Oh, Abby. How I love you!

    The letter to Walmart is classic. But Ivan says it needs to be in Spanish to be really effective.

    I hope the broadcast helped you to still feel good about being a wife and mother, though.

    You are amazing!
    Brooke said...
    I will not shop at Walmart on principle.
    carajean said...
    Maybe they have some ant spray at Wal-mart. Just kidding, just teasing you.

    By the way, the security word verification on my comment is "morde". I don't know why but that really makes me laugh.
    Liz said...
    This was so fun to read. I love these kinds of entries. Even if I am very late catching up!

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