Monday, September 21, 2009
I've been meaning to share these.
1) My friend Debra was quick to get a picture of this guy and I am SO GLAD! I almost stopped at a green light when I first saw him. I'm not sure if he's one of the things about Tallahassee that I miss or am glad to leave behind. I laughed so hard every time I saw him.
2) At first it may seem a little weird, but trust me, keep listening and you won't be able to help but smile!
3) And I can't believe I forgot to post this the first time I watched it. This was made by our good friend Kels. If you're a fan of The Office, you will enjoy this.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Aw! Thank you guys for all the kind words. I can always count on my friends for a good pick-me-up.
And now that I've had a fun evening where we went to dinner with two of our favorite families (yay Andersons & Nutters!) and the kids are in bed, I'm feeling much more positive. "After all, tomorrow is another day." Quick, quick, name that movie! :D
And I just wanted to share something I've been thinking about that helped me through today. A couple of things actually. First, Tiffany posted about being a good mommy and not comparing ourselves to others. That was such a good reminder for me. I've also been thinking a lot today about an email from one of my Aunts. Here's what she sent:
Her note to the ladies in our fam:
This is a mothers' day article I wanted to share. I think it will make you chuckle. Know that I admire each of you for the wise moms that you are!Love y'all
Sunday, 10 May 2009, (Mother's Day) Daily Herald Article
Congrats, mothers -- you're doing it all wrong
Lenore Skenazy - Special to The Washington Post
Happy Mother's Day, you moron, Love, your pals in the baby business.
If you're a mother, you might recognize that sentiment -- sweet wishes from the passive-aggressive baby industry that wants you to feel so completely, even dangerously unprepared for the challenges (they're always "challenges") of parenthood that you will run out and read its
magazines, buy its products and take its advice. Ka-ching!
Here's a tip from a little article on flying a kite with your kid:
"Choose a sunny day when there's no chance of lightning."
You mean, don't fly kites when there's a funnel cloud headed for the driveway? Got it.
Or how about this pointer from Parenting magazine on how to delight your baby: "Lean in close and kiss her nose." Kissing my baby. Why didn't I think of that?
And here's my favorite recommendation from a book of "Baby Must-Haves" (yes, a 200-plus-page volume on items you simply must buy unless you want your baby to be seriously deprived): "You'll get more bang for your buck with a toy that can be played with in more than one way -- for instance, a push toy that can also be pulled."
Now, you've got to feel sorry for the poor writer who had to come up with something -- anything -- to say about a pull toy. But can you think of a push toy that can't be pulled? Can you think of /any/ toy that can't be pulled, besides a cranky daddy trying to watch SportsCenter?
These tips treat parents as if we were the 2-year-olds, so wet behind the ears that we need an expert to tell us which games to play, which toys to buy, what to say to our kids and what to feed them. This talking down to parents is big business; the "mom market" has reached $1.7
trillion in annual revenue, according to the book "Parenting, Inc.," with $700 million spent on zero-to-age-2 toys alone. That's a lot of pull toys.
Excuse me. Push and pull toys.
The whole gestalt is enough to convince us moms that today's children -- unlike all those who came before them -- do not have their trajectory pretty well mapped out simply by being born human: cry, crawl, toddle, walk, grow up, breed and cry some more. No, this generation won't make it without a whole lot of help from specialists, safety gear and Internet searches. But why? Are our children more vulnerable -- and we less competent -- than any previous generation in history?
Of course not. But that's the message we're getting. We're living in a time when parents worry about their offspring's safety and development and health and you name it (OK, I will: SAT scores, emotional IQ, body image, rattle skills, pacifier addiction, iPod addiction, self-esteem,
potential abduction, Facebook friends, cookie intake) more than ever, thanks to a parenting industry that relies on turning us into nervous wrecks.
It begins even before the baby's born. There are books and books about what to eat during pregnancy, as if the average expectant woman couldn't figure out whether she should choose the kale or the Krispy Kreme. (And by the way, even that doesn't matter as much as the books make you think. As my doctor told me: Just eat like you normally would, only a little more -- and add some folic acid. I toasted her with a Yoo-hoo.)
That kind of counsel is too reasonable for the parenting-industrial complex. Taking a chipper-but-chiding approach that sets the tone for a whole generation of parenting advice, the "What to Expect When You're Expecting" pregnancy guide goes so far as to remind moms-to-be that
"each bite" is a chance to give their babies the perfect start. Which must mean that not making "each bite" nutritionally stellar risks ruining your kid forever. There's no rest for the weary parent in this high-alert world, especially after the little bundle arrives. Take, forinstance, the baby bath thermometer, an item so popular that there are several competing brands on the market. The cheapest one looks like a rubber duck. Place it in the tub and if the bathwater is too hot, these words magically appear on its tummy: "TOO HOT."
You'd have to be convinced that you're incapable of testing the water temperature with your own hand before you'd buy this gadget. But that's what that crafty duck is out to do: undermine your confidence in your own childrearing capabilities. (Never mind that the instructions on the
back of the package remind adults to "ALWAYS" check the temperature with their hands first!)
It's hard to feel secure about being a good mom now that every decision is so fraught with consequences. My friend Lainie Gutterman, who is just entering her second trimester, says that her head is spinning. "I don't know what's right, what's wrong, and for everyone who swears by
something," she says, "there's someone who hates that product and thinks it's overpriced."
Usually that someone is me. And not just because it's a waste of money. It's because I want the old days back.
For my friends and me -- gals raising elementary and junior-high-age kids and even some who are just having babies -- things have changed dramatically in a single generation. The worries that make us hyperventilate didn't even faze our moms -- and not because they were
lazy or bad. It's just that in the past, people didn't see every tiny parenting decision as such a big deal. Our moms could feed us formula and not worry about whether they were subtracting IQ points. They could let us bike around the block without thinking about last night's Nancy Grace. They could hang a mobile above the crib and not worry too much about:
- Whether it was developmentally appropriate (including colors and music).
- Whether the attachments were facing the right way. (Really! I just read an article that said they should face down, toward the baby, or all bets are off.) And ...
- Whether we were going to strangle ourselves if we somehow managed to pull the mobile down, play with the pull chain and accidentally wrap it around our necks.
They didn't sweat the way we do because they were reading Dr. Spock, the child-care guru of the 1950s and '60s, who famously began his book "Baby and Child Care" with the words, "Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do." Not, "Freak out! Your baby is at a super-important stage and you must devote every fiber of your being to helping him ace it."
Deprived of this kind of "help," our parents let us stay outdoors till the streetlights came on, and maybe even fly a kite on days that weren't perfectly sunny.
Today is a day to thank those moms for all that they did. But it is also a day to thank the current crop of moms, stuck trying to do their best in the face of a whole parenting culture that's insisting, "You're not doing it right!"
Yes we are. Or at least we're doing it right enough, thank you, and the odds are very much on our side. Happy Mother's Day to us.
Lenore Skenazy is the author of Free-Range Kids: Giving Our Children the Freedom We Had Without Going Nuts with Worry.
So, me again now. Ladies -- we are meant to be mothers. We can do this! We know what needs to happen most of the time and when we don't, we know how to figure it out! We have the tools and the guidance (whether divine or friends). I love you all and I think we are ALL awesome in our efforts to mother our children!!
So, me again now. Ladies -- we are meant to be mothers. We can do this! We know what needs to happen most of the time and when we don't, we know how to figure it out! We have the tools and the guidance (whether divine or friends). I love you all and I think we are ALL awesome in our efforts to mother our children!!
Friday, September 18, 2009
...and that's what I keep telling myself today but...
YEESH!
Mom, I'm not sure you ever did say that and I'm not sure you had days like this! You must've. Seven kids. Two boys. Five girls. You must've. And yet, I have this image in my mind of you as my mother and can't imagine that you have ever 1) wished it was bedtime three hours after your kids got up, 2) wondered why you have kids, 3) found yourself trying to stay a step ahead of them and ending three or four behind them, and 4) felt like everyone else loves and adores their kids, shouldn't I feel the same toward mine? Okay, maybe I can see any mom feeling one or two of these things (my own included), but to feel all four at the same time? It sure is exhausting.
I realize mothers excel at different aspects of mothering. For example, I have a friend who hates the newborn stage and really loves working with her preschool age children. I know that for me, I shine in those early months. I love, love, love the newborn stage through about age two. It works for me. It feeds my soul. I feel connected, loving, and adoring of my babies. How can I stretch that further?
And as I'm typing I lift my head to take stock of the situation and have found that my youngest is asleep in bed, my three year old has fallen asleep sprawled across two dining room chairs, and my oldest two are cleaning in their room.
I'll forget for now that I was just yelling back to them a moment ago to stop yelling at each other...and I'll forget for now that they're actually cleaning because they've been told they must if they want to play the Wii. And I'll also forget (for a minute or two) that the babe is now crying.
Someday, will I look back and smile? Will I feel like I did it well? Will I miss this? Everyone who has been there says I will. Usually I can see why. Today I don't see why. But in an effort to remember how I really feel toward my babies and find the silver lining, I'll include some pictures I took yesterday that are still making me smile today.
Well, scratch that. I can't find the adapter for my mini SD card! These aren't as pretty, but here's a bouquet of flowers the cashier at Trader Joe's gave me as a welcome to California/Trader Joe's gift! (Incidentally, I love Trader Joe's! I had never been to one before we moved here.)
Here's to the rest of my day! I'm hoping to make it look something like these beautiful flowers. I think I'll start by tickling the ivories while two kiddos sleep and two kiddos are "plugged in".
Monday, September 14, 2009
The word of the day is:
HEARTSTOPPING
(Blogger gave me grief over that one. Apparently it's not a word. I'm going to ignore them on this one.)
HEARTSTOPPING
=
being unable to find the cut when your child is covered in blood!
HEARTSTOPPING
(Blogger gave me grief over that one. Apparently it's not a word. I'm going to ignore them on this one.)
HEARTSTOPPING
=
being unable to find the cut when your child is covered in blood!
I heard a scream from the backyard followed by Esther crying and Heidi yelling, "Mom! Esther has blood!"
She fell off the hoppity ball. Cursed balls.
Her hands and shirt were covered in blood so I immediately started checking her mouth. I felt really panicky for the first minute but I know I was calm on the outside. After that, it was easy to think clearly and work my way through things.
It wasn't till I turned her around that I found the cut - on the back of her head.
Stupid head wounds. So much blood for such a tiny little cut.
She's all cleaned up now and feeling fine. I gave her some Tylenol as a preventative measure. That could be a nasty headache! I'm watchful, keeping in mind the possibility of a concussion.
She sure gave me a scare, but I think we'll be just fine now.
(And this little voice in my head is reminding me of a conversation with Eric this Saturday...something about hoppity balls and the patio...Eric warning they'd fall and hit their heads on the concrete...and me insisting they could jump on the grass...it's only been unpacked since Saturday...he is seriously ALWAYS right! I won't even mind if he says "I told you so". I'm just glad she's okay and doesn't need stitches.)
Sunday, September 13, 2009
My girls are no longer babies, toddlers, or even just "little girls". Look at my GIRLS! Two in particular! Hard to believe my oldest will be eight in a few weeks and my second will be six!
(sorry about the poor picture quality...the convenience of camera phones is, well, convenient...but not very "high tech")
If I want a good picture on Sunday, it HAS to be done before church. I always hear people talking about how quickly boys change out of their Sunday clothes after church but girls are no different! And their hair (at least my girls' hair) is always completely undone by that point.
These were taken last Sunday. More to come tomorrow. (I made a headband for Becca and if it looks good I'll put those pictures up.)
Um, yeah...the clip wasn't really doin' it for me. I think Becca agreed. "Mom, shouldn't you wait till I have more hair??"
Heidi wasn't interested in posing. She looked just as cute as her sisters though. :D
Last week when Eric picked Esther up from nursery, her leader told us how much she loves having Esther in class. She said Esther "has the personality of 10 kids". Sounds about right. She's spunky. She's a ham. She loves people. She loves to laugh. She just loves life and is overflowing in her excitement about it.
Yesterday Esther sat at the table telling me about the dream she'd had the previous night. It went something like this:
"And then I opened Becca's tummy and, and, I put my brain in her tummy. "
I think, "Ummmm...okay Esther, that is really weird."
But I say, "You did? And then what happened?"
"And then I put Becca's brain in me."
I think, "Okay, at least she doesn't really mean TUMMY, she's just trying to explain that they're SWITCHING BRAINS??!"
But I say, "Oh wow. That's silly!"
And then when I went to put Becca down for a nap, I found this:
And yes, she really was asleep!Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Happy Birthday to Me,
Happy Birthday to Me...
See what I got this year for my first of many 29th birthdays?
I have played every day since it arrived. The girls have too.
After the girls went to bed tonight, I sat down at my piano and played.
See what I got this year for my first of many 29th birthdays?
I have played every day since it arrived. The girls have too.After the girls went to bed tonight, I sat down at my piano and played.
And played.
It was wonderful.
*sigh*
I learned yesterday that the wood is Tiger Oak. Sounds fancy. :) But the cabinet and the wood are both beautiful and I am excited at the possibility of polishing/re-lacquering it.And on the girls playing -- It is magical, soothing, reassuring, reaffirming (this is a big one...makes me feel kindly toward them after difficult stretches), and just awesome to watch them each discover it in their own ways.
I don't even have to be in the room to know who is playing. Esther is gung-ho. She just goes at it. Heidi is more thoughtful. One note at a time. Searching it out. Autumn plays like a virtuoso (not technically at all...but in the "drama" of how she plays). Eric and I have joked that Esther will be the pianist, Heidi the composer, and Autumn the singer. There are elements of each that we hear reflected in their approaches to the piano.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
