4/10/12
Growing up, I was always the kid in the family who loved schedules. I loved a plan. I loved to know what the plan was. I loved TO plan.

Fast forward to now and I still love to plan. I still love to have a plan. BUT, I hate schedules. Even schedules that are made by ME. Apparently as a kid, I had meltdowns when schedules and plans were not followed. In contrast, today I think my middle name could be flexibility! As a mom I have to be flexible. As the wife of a graduate student with a grad-school schedule, I have to be flexible. So flexibility is a good thing.

I'd like to blame my detest for schedules on being too flexible. The truth is probably more along the lines of -- I allow myself to be distracted by worthless things. That means that when I'm distracted, the schedule goes out the window and when I sit down to look at the schedule, I'm faced with all these things that did not happen. So in reality I hate schedules because when I sit down to account for my day, I always come up short. And I continue to hate schedules on the days where everything gets marked off because I look around and see that there is still more to be done. Sure, for once I was realistic in my goals for the day (another important element of good scheduling that I don't always practice...) and did not allow distraction to get in the way - but there are always those other things I'm wishing got done. I tell ya, as a mom (homeschooling or not), there's nothing quite as distressing as playing catch-up all the time. I'm always trying to get things in order so they can be at a point where I'm just maintaining things, mostly housework, but I never get there. It's great when you do the work that maintains things around the house and you can sit down at the end of the day and feel like things are in order. But what am I supposed to do when I sit down after a long day of work, only to look around and discover things don't look any different?! I know this feeds my issue with schedules too...

The dilemma is that I'm pretty sure I do need to have schedules. Especially as a homeschooling mom. Especially as I contemplate continuing to homeschool with a new baby in the house.

4/11/12
After today, I think we won't be able to homeschool as a family next year unless we have a bigger support group and are more committed to schedules. Eric's OCD flares up worse as the years pass and yet we keep adding kids to the mix and continuing to homeschool which certainly adds to the chaos.

It's interesting that just today I was reading a homeschooling blog where the mom said that she and another mom do a "kid swap" twice a month. They have eight kids between the two of them (five and three) and every other week, one of the moms is the host mom and watches all eight kids for four hours so the other mom can do things without the kids.

Tonight as I washed dishes and contemplated the state of things, I came to the conclusion that we are done homeschooling for now. Unless we have a better system. Many people manage to homeschool and work through the struggles of the mess that comes with it, but I don't think our family can do it anymore. I realize housekeeping is not my greatest strength, but I have a desire to change that continues to grow as the years pass. I feel like my greatest stumbling block has been the homeschooling for the last four years. I love doing school with the girls and would sorely miss them and the school-time and certainly dread the inability to put off cleaning...but at this point I think it's best.

I have hopes that we'll move somewhere with a strong homeschooling community that will embrace our family. A place where I will meet mom friends with big families and similar struggles. Maybe then I can find someone to start our own "kid swap", but I'd say every week so that twice a month I had cleaning time. I'd be able to use that time to clean the areas of the house that I just can't seem to do with kids underfoot. In our house right now, that's the deep cleaning as well as organizing. There's so little storage space that things are routinely relegated to the garage but often have stopping points in piles/bags in my room for further sorting before they make it to the garage. I shift things around to get from one place to another. It's certainly no "hoarder status" but it drives me batty and must be exponentially worse for Eric. When the girls and I clean their room, I always come out with at least one bag or box of things that shouldn't have belonged there. And I'm not sure I've once had time to put those things away right then. Those too, go in the master bedroom. How I would love to have time, every other week through a kid swap like I'm envisioning, to tackle these projects!

In the meantime, what do I do now? Still homeschooling, in my third trimester, in Eric's last month of his doctorate, and suddenly today I feel like things are at a peak and so disorganized that I cast my mind forward to when I can start anew and do things better. But what do I do now?

Guess what, peoples?

We're having a..........















Wait for it.....















Wait for it.....














Yeah, I'm really gonna be like that......

Our fifth little Hanson will debut sometime around July 1st. Since my body is refusing to cooperate with my wishes to keep things on the down-low for another few weeks, I'm announcing the exciting news!

Here are some things that have been happening around here as this little one has been cookin':

- I had an ultrasound last week and this little "grape" was super wiggly. That was fun. It was even more fun to confirm that there is only ONE babe in there. This was an early ultrasound, so no gender yet. That should be happening around mid-February.

- I amazed that I am gaining weight considering how sick I've been. I'm hoping for only a few more weeks of this stage...

- I think I look like I'm 20 weeks pregnant instead of the mere 9 weeks. Hopefully I'll still look this size when I really am 20 weeks...I can dream.

- I got a positive test earlier than ANY of my others.

- I got sick earlier than ANY of the others.

- My sense of smell is crazy! This has never been a pregnancy symptom for me.

- Do these last three things mean it's a boy? Or is it just psychological? Only answer if you think it's the former...

- Colds and pregnancy are not friends.

- I'm typically a night owl, but not lately! Several nights a week I'm out by 9pm. Yikes.

- Autumn got big sister privileges and came with me to my appointment on Friday. I told her the news on the way there. She said, "Eeeeeee!", among other things.

- We told the rest of the kids yesterday and Heidi said, "I cannot believe I'm hearing this!" and "I hope I have a baby brother!"

- Esther didn't believe me.

- Becca said, "Oh."

- The strange dreams have begun. Last night I dreamed there was a tiger in the house and noone else cared to do anything about it. They knew it was there, they just didn't understand the seriousness. I mean, come on, a tiger?!

(Bonus points for whoever can name the song I'm thinking of in my Post Title!)

So has anyone noticed the strangeness of my Facebook posts lately? It's like I've been hacked. They're just so random...check it out!

October 25
Does anyone else hate sesame seeds on their buns and find themselves picking them off? Anyone, anyone? No need to be shy. :)


November 8
Mmmm. Blueberry muffins with streusel on top.


November 15
Is it "kidney beans, kidney beans, hoagies and grinders" OR "navy beans, navy beans, hoagies and grinders"? And what are grinders anyway?


November 26
Grapes? Or raisins? If it were up to me, grapes would always win -- but on the other hand, that sure would taste odd in my Cream of Wheat...


Maybe it would make sense if I could keep it going for weeks and weeks and weeks...maybe 40? Or 36?

Something like this, you know: poppy seed, sesame seed, lentil, blueberry, kidney bean, grape, kumquat, fig, lime, medium shrimp, lemon, apple, avocado, turnip, bell pepper, heirloom, as long as a banana, or next a carrot, spaghetti squash, large mango, ear of corn, rutabaga, English cucumber, head of cauliflower, Chinese cabbage, butternut squash, large cabbage, weighs as much as four oranges, or then a jicama, next a pineapple, cantaloupe, weighs as much as a honeydew melon, crenshaw melon, as long as a stalk of Swiss chard, or next a leek, weighs as much as a mini-Watermelon, size of a small pumpkin?

Last week was crazy. Becca fell off the top bunk on Monday afternoon. We spent the day on concussion watch. We watched movies and iced her swollen eye (face-first, ay!). The swelling went down some but in the evening it went back up to off we went to Urgent Care. The Urgent Care doc said he couldn't feel any fractures and to just watch for abnormal behavior or vomiting and to take her to the ER if either of those happened. We headed home with a plan to rouse her every 2 hours through the night. Then she threw up in the car...

At the ER she had a CT scan with results showing 2 fractures around her eye and 3 mm (like 3 drops of blood) of bruising on the dura (the outermost lining of the brain - not IN the brain, so big difference there).  We were transferred to Miller Children's Hospital for observation and a repeat CT scan.

Becca and I spent Tuesday morning from about 2am to Wednesday afternoon about 1pm in the hospital. The repeat CT scan showed the bruising was stable so we just waited to make sure she didn't show any abnormal behavior that would indicate intervention was necessary.

I have NEVER spent that much time all alone with my youngest. Once we knew things were going to be okay, she and I enjoyed some good one-on-one time. She is such a sweetie. As long as nurses or doctors weren't messing with her checking things or poking at her, she was happy. And even when they did have to check things, she really was a trooper.

It's been a week and a couple of days now and I am continually amazed at how quickly she is healing! We've been through the "bruise rainbow" and are almost done! She has a follow-up with the opthamologist next week to check her eye again, but that's it.

If you are at all queasy about these kinds of things, you can stop here. Here come the pictures. I wanted to document how quickly her healing has been. For our family here, we've been with her all week and are used to how she's looked - but if you're checking in here, it may be a bit of a shocker. Just to warn you!

ALSO: If you feel inclined to leave a comment, please know that we have fielded all sorts of questions and comments in the past week and a half. Some very kind, some not so kind or thoughtful. Hopefully if you read my blog, you know that I love my children and take care of them. Some knocks are just going to happen despite any parents' best efforts! Yes, we don't regularly allow our children to play on the top bunk (especially our littlest ones!). Yes, we have a climber. No, I do not follow her around the house 24/7. Yes, she was playing with a sister. Yes, I actually had the ladder blocked off previous to this though some inventive children undid my work. Yes, it is blocked off again. Okay, deep breaths Abby. I'm okay now. Just had to put that out there.